Mr. Right or just Mr. Perfect?
Last night was a blue moon.. literally. (Second full moon in a month.) Very meloncholy night for me... I went through all of my memorablilia from Adam Foster and cried a bit. Okay.. a lot. I listened to all of our songs that I put on a CD for him for his birthday... yeah- last November.... I haven't spoken with him.. he just disappeared from the face of the planet (away from Arizona.. I'm assuming he left to work with his older brother in Colorado) and didn't leave a forwarding address or number. I need to just forget about him and move on. I thought that I was before, but it seems like he, or the feelings of true feelings/emotions, keep creeping into my head.
THIS Morning at church was incredible. Here's the background-- there's this guy at church, Adam, who sings with the worship team... I've liked him for a very long time, but felt that he would never like me-- I'm way too crazy and unruly for someone of his style and grace... I feel very messy around him. At any rate-- whenever I see him, my face gets very red and I can't think of ANYTHING that I want to say.. all my games and 'charming' ways disipate as I am fully unable to speak. The last time, (THANK GOODNESS) Kathy was there and talked with him about the series Smallville. I just stood there and blushed. A lot.
So-- this morning.. I was sitting with Kathy and Eric (and Muffin) and I saw him up front singing looking beautiful as always and I look down and around him so he doesn't think I'm staring at him... (lol)... and then after the service, I turn to leave the aisle, and Kathy wispers.."hey... wait a minute.. I just want to see something.. hold on".. I assume that he's near-- and not wanting to see him and embarrass myself again, I quickly jet downstairs to the coffee hall holding the Muffin and avoiding all eye contact with those around... yikes. So then- I look to my left and see Adam next to me-- actually asserting himself to come over to talk to me. I almost died. Well-- I had sent him an email asking him if he would help Erin, Zack and I lead the 20/30 Something's at church.. and he had to decline because he has so much on his plate. His email was so sweet.....
Hey Laura, My summer is going pretty well, how's yours going? It has definitely been a while since I've spoken to you. I spoke to your brother a week ago about this group that you're heading up. I think you guys were headed to Newcastle commons. I think it's really great that you're organizing this, and I'm glad the response has been good. I'm really glad you asked me to help lead, but, unfortunately, I've got alot going on at work this fall and with small group and worship team and a few other things I think I'm gonna be too busy to devote time elsewhere. I would definitely appreciate it if you included me in the mailing list though. I hope we can at least chat again sometime soon, and I hope this email finds you well. Have a great weekend. -Adam
So he came over to talk to me... I was actually able to hold my own and talk with him.. the whole time I was dying inside.. and glowing!!! He appologized for not responding to my email before, but that he was slow in returing emails... I'm so glad he didn't see the email address.. Hhoneybee54" and delete it thinking it was spam or something.. that would be tragic!!
I've been GLOWING all day..