Still Victorious

Today is the 10 week mark for me to Praise God!! I have not had anything to drink, smoked, or gone to a bar in 10 weeks exactly. GOD CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS. It is so amazing to me- I am in awe at how God can just turn my life around. He can do anything!!!! I haven't talked to Jay in about 2 weeks. His last comment about Christians alludes my mind at the moment, but it was the last straw. I am officially exausted of his tactics and am tired of his foolishness: trying to be controlling, his nasty comments and biting words, his negitive ways of dealing with stress, his angry actions towards me when he's having a bad day, his hard heart, his stubborness, his strong conviction that he needs to show that he is 'better' than everyone else by putting them down or just not associating himself with them becasue they are 'not good enough', OUR 9 YEARS TOGETHER THAT LEAD TO JUST PAIN AND SCARS- Nothing fruitful such as a project well exectuted or a lifting up and enabling, his dark ways and negitive perspecitve on everything, his need to give me horrible advice where I 'come out on top' and benefit no one. I am tired of him. I am tired of being around him and fighting with him. I am tired of bad advice when I can go to my Christian friends and have the most sound and solidy-based advice ever. Why would I hang out with Jay? He only would bring me down and disable me. Thank you God for transforming my mind and renewing myheart. I pray that you continue to do so. I am a weak human alone... but with your help I am becoming stronger and clearly visioned. THANK YOU and only you for allowing my life to be changed and for sustaining me- giving me ways out- in every situtation. I PRAY Lord, that you continue this in my life. I know that 0n my own strength I would be helpless and backslide- but I ask that you (and know that you will) hold me here and allow me to move forward without the weakness of going back to my old life.... I want to come to your throne some day when I leave this place-- for us to know each other: Don't let me come home a stranger. I pray that how I feel now will just grow- Lord, I don't want this to stop... it feels like how I felt when I was at Taylor. I am nervous about what I ask and how you will sustain me, but I pray that you send me your angels (people) to allows hold me and be your arms and words in every situation-- please never let me be alone again.