Today felt like a good day to write... there are so many things on my mind. Mostly they are reflective of my actions.. (as usual) but also about how the world works and how adaptation is required to follow the suit of the world's view of how to live. But I don't want any part. When I watched that movie, Beyond Borders- I lost it... it touched my heart so deeply... I read in the paper today how a couple raised money to be a part of the Mercy Ship. I clicked on a link to find out more information about it. I know that God doesn't work on immediacy-- he doesn't make snap movements when big decisions are involved.. I believe that he would bring me to a place of desire (where I am now and have been for about a year) to a place of actually being part of it. The Mercy Ship is a volunteer basis only, really- travel to hurting worlds and help out in any way possible. I'm not a doctor or a nurse. I can't really cook or build them a home. But I feel that God has laid this ache in my heart to go. When? Who knows. How? Who knows. But I know something is happening-- I want to live for HIM, not for myself as I have been continually doing over the past couple years.. well, I guess my entire life. There have been glimpses of selflessness, but they seem to be very insignificant and far apart. I feel like I will never be a Billy Graham or a CS Lewis. Never. But I pray that I don't go home a stranger.