Update

It has been so long since I have posted something... so much has happened. I graduated from Esthetics school and took the State Board Exam on the 17th... I think it went pretty well. The guys in my life have taken a turn for the worst: Nick (Argintinian Nicolas) and I started hanging out in the beginning of January/end of December. He was under the impression that we were dating because we were hanging out and that he had told me he really liked me. (This is the third January that we have gotten together- it's now a kind of running joke.) We had a big fight over the phone about it before he and my brother went to Argintina- I left it that I would call him if I 'came to my senses' and decided that I wanted to work towards a serious relationship with him- other wise the deal was that I wouldn't call him because he 'doesn't need another friend'. He left Lindt chocolates under the handle of the screen door out back. He's still in Argintina working on getting an extention for his work visa. Zack also, during the same weekend, took me aside (an hour conversation) and told me that he was attracted to me and that we needed to spend less time together and have less meaningful conversations so that we don't start to build a relationship that is beyond what we were looking for. He has real guts- he has some serious strength to tell me this and to be so honest... good guy. So I cried for a while while he watched-- too much all at once. And then there's Josh. He told me about a week ago that he was in love with me. Goodness-- what do I do? I get myself into some really hurtful relationships- where I am the one that hurts others. I am seeing him on Tuesday night so hopefully we can talk-- I was honest with him the other day when (I had been drinking a little bit so I was more open) I told him that I was jealous of the earings that were sitting on his bed-side table.. I wasn't a fan of that situation at all. He told me very recently that he was happy that I was jealous and thought that we were moving into an exclusive relationship... I am such a jerk.