Beautiful Day
Today was a beautiful day... so perfect. Church was great and I got to sit with Erin... (hehehe: and Zack was late this time... he gave me 50 cents.) The group went to Wagon Hill today and we had a picnic by the water.. for the afternoon-- the weather was absolutely perfect. We passed around a couple of frisbees/soccer balls/footballs/etc. The turn out: Mike&Denise/Liz & Rich/Dylan & Lizanne/Zack, Erin, Danielle, Brandon and myself!! It was wonderful!! So much fun!! Eric and Kathy weren't there which is understandable-- they need time to themselves as well... and a bunch of us are going to do our ritual of video games tonight over there, any how. I need to go make a cake for Zack- it was his 25th yesterday :) He didn't tell anyone.. lol.
So, my conversation with Mom and Dad during dinner was really shocking. Dad was having doubts about what he's accomplished in life. He went to his high school reunion last month when he and Mom went to Indiana for MMAP... and it brought him back and I think made him hyper-retrospective. I really want to hug him- yah know: he's raised us three kids with structure and rules that really have made us who we are-- I think he's the most sucessful Dad I know. He hurts, also in the area of not having a close friend. He really was down-trodden yesterday when he told me this... it's so strange to see a man whom I have known to have all the answers for my whole 24 years- to have doubts about who he is and to so strongly desire friendships.. (I pray, God- that you can be with him during this sad point in his life. I pray that you bring people from far and wide to be there for him and to allow him to feel really beautiful friendships... he is such a faithful man and it broke my heart into little pieces to see him go without this wonderful aspect of life. He's had a rough childhood (who hasn't?) and I pray that he can be hooked up with a bunch of men that accept him for who he is and love him for that-- and to be there for him to go hang out with and watch football games with... I pray also for Mom that she would have her need met-- I pray for people to care for her and show her how valuable and fun she is-- I pray that she has the chance to really shine.
So life goes on. At this second in time.. .all is calm. Tammy and I hung out last night.. yikes. I need to continue to stay away from drinking.. I abstained for so long.. last night was a full-on-face-in-the-mud type of night. I need to dust myself off and continue my life-- knowing that there will be victory in my life-- God is bigger than this problem. Period.
Tammy rung me this morning and we were chatting about her... her father was shot and she strongly desires a father-- someone to hold her and let her know that everything will be okay. She told me all this in her own words... she hurts deeply and crys out in so many ways that she is in pain. I told her about God-Hugs: like when I cried in despairation (months ago) and needed to hear from Him.. and a fully black sky-- one that was just so overcast- it almost looked like it was night time... and a rainbow appeared right in front of my car up ahead... so full and the colors were so vibrant. Her heavenly Father loves her like she needs-- I know He wants to hold me in his lap and hug me when I cry.. He loves that I talk with Him and He cares about EVERY little detail of my life. I want her to know that He loves her like this, too.
"I believe Lord- Help me in my unbelief."
So, my conversation with Mom and Dad during dinner was really shocking. Dad was having doubts about what he's accomplished in life. He went to his high school reunion last month when he and Mom went to Indiana for MMAP... and it brought him back and I think made him hyper-retrospective. I really want to hug him- yah know: he's raised us three kids with structure and rules that really have made us who we are-- I think he's the most sucessful Dad I know. He hurts, also in the area of not having a close friend. He really was down-trodden yesterday when he told me this... it's so strange to see a man whom I have known to have all the answers for my whole 24 years- to have doubts about who he is and to so strongly desire friendships.. (I pray, God- that you can be with him during this sad point in his life. I pray that you bring people from far and wide to be there for him and to allow him to feel really beautiful friendships... he is such a faithful man and it broke my heart into little pieces to see him go without this wonderful aspect of life. He's had a rough childhood (who hasn't?) and I pray that he can be hooked up with a bunch of men that accept him for who he is and love him for that-- and to be there for him to go hang out with and watch football games with... I pray also for Mom that she would have her need met-- I pray for people to care for her and show her how valuable and fun she is-- I pray that she has the chance to really shine.
So life goes on. At this second in time.. .all is calm. Tammy and I hung out last night.. yikes. I need to continue to stay away from drinking.. I abstained for so long.. last night was a full-on-face-in-the-mud type of night. I need to dust myself off and continue my life-- knowing that there will be victory in my life-- God is bigger than this problem. Period.
Tammy rung me this morning and we were chatting about her... her father was shot and she strongly desires a father-- someone to hold her and let her know that everything will be okay. She told me all this in her own words... she hurts deeply and crys out in so many ways that she is in pain. I told her about God-Hugs: like when I cried in despairation (months ago) and needed to hear from Him.. and a fully black sky-- one that was just so overcast- it almost looked like it was night time... and a rainbow appeared right in front of my car up ahead... so full and the colors were so vibrant. Her heavenly Father loves her like she needs-- I know He wants to hold me in his lap and hug me when I cry.. He loves that I talk with Him and He cares about EVERY little detail of my life. I want her to know that He loves her like this, too.
"I believe Lord- Help me in my unbelief."
posted by Laura Alden at Sunday, October 03, 2004
1 Comments:
Good for you on abstaining.
I'm working on the quitting smoking first. December 21st is my go-date. Adam came up with a brilliant idea. He's giving his mom quitting smoking for her birthday. To make it easier for him, and all of us in general, I thought that it would be a great idea (and a financially sound one) for my brother and I to give as our gift to our mom for Christmas quitting smoking.
The drinking... I think that that is going to take a little more soul-searching. I know it's bad, but it's harder for me, as it is one of those social things, and I can have a lot of fun, and not get out-of-control most of the time, but then I have days where I just think - what am I doing? I hate the day after (jeesh - the inability to actually speak english or form rational logical thoughts is the most frustrating for me - and you know how I am with that... intellectual until the day I die.)
But anyways. Yea for you :) Di
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