This brings me back to today's saga...
So back to me being selfish. Zack and I worked on the ministry outline again this morning before the service. He's so opposite of me it's fantastic! I really think it will be a strong ministry that is well rounded with two people who see very differently- if we can agree on things- the sky's the limit! I do have doubt in my abilities and go back to feeling like a child who shouldn't be dabbling with real responsibility, but I ask that God help me with my ideas and with strategy and with strength to make this a tool with which He can use for something great. I am but a weak person (and weak is only one word to describe me as without strength) and I will need his inspiration and guidance to get through this! Yikes! I love the idea- and it gives me purpose- something that I really need and desire strongly. Thank you for the answer to prayer!!! Thank you!!!!
So- to update on the Adam situation- there isn't one. Period. He walked away this morning when I came over to talk with him and Zack... he had great shoes on though! Nicely done! I did have a pity party for myself this afternoon after the fact... I had to remind myself that it was okay and that it is not my fault if he doesn't like me: I need to remember that I cannot be perfect and no one actually is. I had to remember that he is a great guy and he's not a complete and totaly jerk for walking away- he just does not have interest.. regardless of what horrible things he's heard about me and my past: he will never know me for who I really am and I think that's an okay thing. There will be someone in this world for me (God willing) who can be my life partener, and even though I haven't found him yet, little (or even big) ouches like this don't fortell my future: Not all Christian guys will run away from me because of my past. There will be someone if He sees a need for there to be one- God knows my heart and how it crys (he made it!) so I will ask when I want to, but only He knows what really will happen. So I am asking for your guidance, LOrd: you know what I am looking for and you know what I actually need. I will do my best to stop trying and leave it in your hands.
So- to update on the Adam situation- there isn't one. Period. He walked away this morning when I came over to talk with him and Zack... he had great shoes on though! Nicely done! I did have a pity party for myself this afternoon after the fact... I had to remind myself that it was okay and that it is not my fault if he doesn't like me: I need to remember that I cannot be perfect and no one actually is. I had to remember that he is a great guy and he's not a complete and totaly jerk for walking away- he just does not have interest.. regardless of what horrible things he's heard about me and my past: he will never know me for who I really am and I think that's an okay thing. There will be someone in this world for me (God willing) who can be my life partener, and even though I haven't found him yet, little (or even big) ouches like this don't fortell my future: Not all Christian guys will run away from me because of my past. There will be someone if He sees a need for there to be one- God knows my heart and how it crys (he made it!) so I will ask when I want to, but only He knows what really will happen. So I am asking for your guidance, LOrd: you know what I am looking for and you know what I actually need. I will do my best to stop trying and leave it in your hands.
posted by Laura Alden at Sunday, August 29, 2004
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