Saturday, July 24, 2004
Yesterday was an amazing day.... not so much the afternoon, but the evening after class. I went over to Josh's only to find that he had bought a dozen roses, made chocolate dipped strawberries, bought wine glasses and red wine in celebration of me going to visit him. He had two movies picked out..... my eyes were opened to how creative he was and how he can take initiative instead of me always taking the lead in friendships/relationships. We also had a heart-to-heart about where we stood as two people who care about each other, and we came to the conclusion that we both want to be together, but on my part, I need to clear my silly agenda that seems to infiltrate every aspect of life... which includes relationships. He is what I am looking for at the moment: honest, straight forward, gentle, focused in school, etc. I am way too tired from long hours of school and work to write more, but he is incredible and I had a wonderful time last night gettting spoiled.

Sunday, July 18, 2004 Question of the day: How does one change thier life to put it back on track.. and what would that look like exactly? Is it a sudden change, or one that will progress over time? Will the inner battle last forever, or is there freedom?hhoneybee54 at 9:34:00 PM EDT (Link to this entry)

Sunday, July 18, 2004
The First Entry to a Long Story
It's a fascinating idea that all we are all products of our own individual experiences.
A big question that I ask myself: can each of us reach the same understanding of certain emotions and feelings if we all come together at different points of our lives? It's amazing listening to people as they share their world with me... it's a crossing of two people who are hearing and relating almost on different planets, but who can laugh and comfort each other.. and possibly could not survive without this support.
My life has been a unique life where I have deeply impacted people for better and for worse- and have felt the same impact from others. It will continue to be the type of journey that I cannot take another person along with me... but to devour the pain in other's lives with them, enlighten, inspire, and uplift creates a full life, I feel, and will come together at the end to be a perfect symphony that only I could experience with the impact of numerous faces both loving and hateful. I hope to be thankful for them both.
A poem that I want to include means great deals to me as I am a deep romantic to the core... it comes from a movie that shows a few lives which are shaped and moved deeply by another's devotion and love...
"To all the ships at sea and all the ports of call; to my family and to all friends and strangers. This is a message and a prayer. The message is that my travels have taught me a great truth. I had what everyone else is searching for and few ever find; the one person in the world who I was born to love forever. A person like me of the outer banks and blue Atlantic mystery. A person rich in simple treasures, self made, self taught; a harbor where I am forever home. No wind or trouble or even a little death can knock down this house. The prayer is that everyone in the world can know this kind of love and be healed by it. If my prayer is heard then, there will be an erasing of all guilt, and all regret: and an end to all anger. If some lives form a perfect circle, other's take shape in ways we cannot predict- or always understand. Loss has been a part of my journey, but it has also shown me what is precious; so has a love for which I can only be grateful." -Message in a Bottle.