My Monthly Emotional Expression...

I watched a movie the other day at movie night about going back into the future. Of course people dream of going back into their past to fix their actions and to take different paths than they currently have taken… there are hundreds and hundreds of books and movies that entertain this idea… but of course there will never be a way to change the power and cycles of time. What would you have said? What words would’ve made things different? What dreams would you have aimed towards if you knew what you know now? What one thing would you have completely and totally taken the time to understand? Would it be another person’s point of view or a topic such as the poverty in Ethiopia?
Each person was born at a specific time in a specific place and coordinate on the planet; the stars were aligned in a unique way over each person when they took their first breath. Everything is moving towards continuing forward. There isn’t a power in this world that can take our uniqueness away; not our fingerprints, sense of humor, our laugh, desires, or dreams. Nothing can take away the moment that we were born and our footprints in this world- no matter if they are staggering or evenly spaced… they are ours.
If we are born at a specific time and under a specific constellation and unique moment in history… all things propel forward… all constellations move forward into the next moment and that moment never again will be revisited… we were born to be part of that movement. We are catalysts for the next moment: we imprint this second and then take what we have done with the last second to move on the next.
Time does not wait for any soul. We all are rich with time- we all get 24 hours a piece to do what we will with it… there will never be a way to get back those mistakes which is wonderful. We are all a mess- life is messy. We all are terrified of mistakes, but what if I was to say that if we knew that we are never alone, would be so scared of issues, conflicts, problems, pain? If we knew that someone was sharing our pain, wouldn’t allow us to rejoice in the fact that we are alive and learning? If we knew that we are part of the human race and therefore able to take part in pain… only as a way to see the beautiful and enlightening aspects of life more clearly and have it be as sweet…
So if we were to go back in time, we could erase all pain and suffering potentially... but would we want to? We all have the ability to take the next 24 hours to change our lives. We have the ability to choose to live. We all have the ability to change our attitude to match an attitude of joy and thankfulness. We can always reframe our situations… but I think that also requires the ingredient called support: support from other people- a solid base where we can find solace and love. We need to know that we are unique and that we are cherished for who we are. We need to know that we are seen- not by our actions, but by who we are and who we are becoming. If we were to overcome our fear of being alone and being the only person in our ‘world’ who feels the way we do… could we find our place and make immense impacts on the world around us with the time that we’ve been given? Would we still desire to go back in time? I’m not petitioning that being alone is why we want to be transported back to our past, but I think that we might find satisfaction in knowing that our future will be filled with rich and extravagant situations that we are able to build- if we overcome our fear of time and turn our eyes up to the future.

C.S. Lewis

Ever since I was a very little girl, I have always been captivated and completely drawn in by C.S. Lewis's writing. His words speak directly to my soul... even his children's stories are geared for adults to read to thier children and find themselves getting more out of it than their kids. His wording is perfect and always beautiful- with a higher meaning. He spoke on many occasions to groups and societies on many different topics, and by reading snippets of them from books and lectures, I have been amazed by his depth and understanding of Life On a Grander Scale. I would've loved to have met him. His description of Aslan and all his power and glory still sits in the back of my head- and will for all time, I am sure... his writing is now a part of me. My favorite book of his of all time, The Horse and His Boy, has had the greatest impact on my life.
(To give you a little bit of background to this next quote, Shasta is the main character who escaped working for a fisherman as a slave, basically, and has been on a journey with a horse who is able to speak... the two have been separated, but he is riding through very dangerous areas in the mountains... )

"And being very tired and having nothing inside him, he felt so sorry for himself that the tears rolled down his cheeks. What put a stop to all this was a sudden fright. Shasta discovered that someone or somebody was walking beside him. It was pitch dark and he could see nothing. And the thing (or person) was going so quietly that he could hardly hear any footfalls. What he could hear was breathing. His invisible companion seemed to breathe on a very large scale, and Shasta got the impression that it was a very large creature. And he had come to notice this breathing so gradually that he had really no idea how long it had been there. It was a horrible shock."
"It darted into his mind that he had heard long ago that there were giants in these Northern countries. He bit his lip in terror. But now that he really had something to cry about, he stopped crying."
"The Thing (unless it was a Person) went on beside him so very quietly that Shasta began to hope he had only imagined it. But just as he was becoming quite sure of it, there suddenly came a deep, rich sigh out of the darkness beside him. That couldn't be imagination! Anyway, he had felt the hot breath of that sigh on his chilly left hand."
"If the horse had been any good-- or if he had known how to get any good out of the horse-- he would have risked everything on a break away and a wild gallop. But he knew he couldn't make that horse gallop. So he went on at a walking pace and the unseen companion walked and breathed beside him. At last he could bear it no longer."
"Who are you?" he said, scarcely above a whisper.
"One who has waited long for you to speak," said the Thing. Its voice was not loud, but very large and deep.
"Are you-- are you a giant?" asked Shasta.
"You might call me a giant," said the Large Voice. "But I am not like the creatures you call giants.
"I can't see you at all," said Shasta, after staring very hard. Then (for an even more terrible idea had come into his head) he said, almost in a scream, "You're not -- not something dead, are you? Oh please-- please do go away. What harm have I ever done you? Oh, I am the unluckiest person in the whole world."
Once more he felt the warm breath of the Thing on his hand and fact. "There," it said, "that is not the breath of a ghost. Tell me your sorrows."
Shasta was a little reassured by the breath: so he told how he had never known his real father or mother and had been brought up sternly by the fisherman. And then he told the story of his escape and how they were chased by lions and forced to swim for thier lives; and of all their dangers in Tashbaan and his night among the Tombs and how the beasts howled at him out of the desert. And he told about the heat and thirst of their desert journey and how they were almost at their goal when another lion chased them and wounded Aravis. And also, how very long it was since he had had anything to eat.
"I do not call you unfortunate," said the Large Voice.
"Don't you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?" said Shasta.
"There was only one lion," said the Voice.
"What on earth do you mean? I've just told you there were at least two the first night, and---"
"There was only one: but he was swift of foot."
"How do you know?"
"I was the lion." And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. "I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lionwho drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach Kind Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in whch you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.".......
..."Who are you?" asked Shasta.
"Myself," said the voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook: and again "Myself," loud and clear and gay: and then the third time "Myself," whispered so softly you could hardly hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all round you as if the leaves rustled with it.
Shasta was no longer afraid the Voice belonged to something that would eat him, nor that it was the voice of a ghost. But a new and different sort of trembling came over him. Yet he felt glad too. The mist was turing from black to grey and from grey to white. This must have begun to happen some time ago, but while he had been talking to the Thing he had not been noticing anything else. Now, the whiteness around him became a shining whiteness; his eyes began to blink. He knew the night was over at last. He could see the mane and ears and head of his horse quite easily now. A golden light fell on them from the left. He thought it was the sun. He turned and saw, pacing beside him, taller than the horse, a Lion. The horse did not seem to be afraid of it or else could not see it. It was from the Lion that the light came. No one ever saw anything more terrible or beautiful....But after one glance at the Lion's face he slipped out of the saddle and fell at its feet. He couldn't say anything but then he knew he didn't need to say anything.
The High King above all kings stooped towards him. Its mane, and some strange and solemn perfume that hung about the mane, was all around him. He lifted his face and thier eyes met. Then instantly the pale brightness of the Lion rolled themselves together into a swirling glory and gathered themselves up and disappeared. He was alone with the horse on a grassy hillside under a blue sky. And there were birds singing."
"Was it all a dream?" wondered Shasta. But it couldn't have been a dream for there in the grass before him he saw the deep, large print of the Lion's front right paw. It took one's breath away to think of the weight that could make a footprint like that. But there was something more remarkable than the size about it. As he looked at it, water had already filled the bottom of it. Soon is was full to the brim, and then overflowing, and a little stream was running downhill, past him, over the grass...."

This little excerpt is perfect in every aspect and very dear to me. There is so much symbolism wrapped up in each angle.. but even to read it as it is: as a children's fantasy, it still has great power through it's imagery.
From my first experience with death, not that I remember it, I have been watched over. There have been major tragedies in my life, personally, but, they are the building blocks of who I am today... I know I won't be complete until the day I die, and the things that I am going through now and in the future, will sculpture me into a whole person. All things in life have a purpose and a meaning. I don't believe things are coincidence. We learn things by failure and pain, and are able to have better insight and a clearer view of the world by those lessons. We own the knowledge when things 'happen' in life, and it is a part of us when we participate in pain.

It's not that the bad things that have happened in life are really tragedies.. they are more stepping stones to a destination-- but in ways that we cannot see. For example, we cannot see the 'armies' coming for us, but we do know that we need to get up in the middle of the night and run from the (visible) threat of 'jackals', which in turn we have escaped a bigger threat that could have ended our lives.

The weekend went smoothly- Friday I went over to Eric and Kathy's for the weekly movie night. We tried to watch a couple of movies which ended up being really weak so we ended up watching Honey.. which I didn't mind, but it's pretty much a teen movie. Saturday was class all day. We had lecture during the beginning of the class until 12:00.. The assistant, Christina, came in upset and went directly into Tobey's office... her sister has brain cancer and Tobey sent her home. Tobey was very sad all day because she lost her brother (I guess a couple of years ago). Gloria brought in two guests- one for me and one for her- she took the more elderly of the couple, and I had the expected mother. She is the wife of the owner of a real estate company called Atrio. She was an absolute sweetheart. I felt that the facial went very well.. and I almost put her to sleep! The baby kept moving around, though, so she wasn't able to fully sleep- she had to stay up late the night before because her sons (yeah! Two more at home! Goodness!) were up during the night with nightmares. She was really sweet and very kind in general. We left class earlier than usual because Tobey was really feeling sad and under the weather.
Sunday was great- I went to the 9:30 service so that Zack and I could plan the month of October out competely for Group. We sat with Jenni Hall... I told her that she HAD to come to the event on SAturday- she has Kyle Froning for the day, so she's not sure if she can bring him (he's 2 and a half, I think). We're having a Harvest Get Together. Should be really fun!! Yah know- it looks really suspicious that Zack and I are seen around together ALL the time at church- people are probably already talking! I really don't want to be attached to someone...but in actuality it really doesn't matter because there really isn't anyone that I like at church anymore so I really don't think it matters. But at any rate- I don't want people to really assume anything... So- our meeting and planning went well and we have all the way through October and two weeks into November. Thanksgiving will be really fun to have an activity around- there's so much that can be done with it! We're also trying to plan a worship service/bonfire at the Bondi's in October which will be awesome! I'm have hope in our ablility just plan these things with full confidence that people will come... it seems like there's a set group of people who make it everytime and then there's the stragglers. I know more people will come- it will just take time!

So I watched a movie that broke my heart yesterday.... Beyond Borders. (I totally love Angelina Jolie!) The male character in the movie-- a doctor that dedicated his life to serving others in third world countries... was so strong and driven with his opinions and beautiful anger towards the death and famine of Africa that people in England and America didn't seem to really concern themselves with... his character was perfect- the passion of his heart toward his work was absolutely captivating. Does someone like that actually exist? For a guy to take people under his wing and trade his life and knowledge in order to participate in a mission to save other people without gain for himself... amazing. I find it to be so beautiful when people have passions that they work for and goals that they strive to attain... those type of real people are not around here-- I guess its because there really isn't a need to have passion about anything when everything is right here- true suffering does not exist in New England. True men cannot be true men when they are not tested and have not had their hearts opened to other people's true needs. I guess there are real men around here, but I don't think they will ever truely become men because they won't get the chance... or maybe they just haven't been inspired: their hearts haven't been woken up yet...

Today..

So I failed twice. Once Monday and once on Tuesday.. I got lazy again. I didn't go to class either day. I went to small group Bible study yesterday night (Tuesday), but Monday I really don't have an excuse at all. What's the deal? I was doing just fine!! And then I just stop moving all together. I know that I need to get back on the wagon here... and the question is: 'how?' Goodness. I am going back today: the owner, when I called yesterday to let her know that I was not coming in, was very upset that I was missing two days in a row. She wanted to have a 'discussion with me' when I came in for today's class (Wednesday)... talk about a twist in my stomach for 24 hours straight. Yuck. I have to fact the music.. but I really am not sure what my issue is-- it's not that I was sick... I was just 'under the weather'.. I didn't feel motivated, I guess, to go in to class. Both days at work were fantastic and went very smoothly. I have no idea why I just didn't go in. No idea. I really hope she doesn't go off the handle today- I don't think I could handle self shame about dismissing my 'duties' AND THEN have someone rub it in. Both really would not be optimal today. I'll update when I get back tonight.. if I'm still alive, that is!

Angels

This was pretty interesting... some of it is very confusing considering that it is Catholic- and having been raised a Christian, I have no idea what some of the references that are made... not sure what books they are talking about.. for example: (Ecclesiasticus 18:1") There is an Ecclesiastes in the Bible, but there are only 12 chapters in that book... not exactly sure what that's all about... but here's an interesting bit about Angels.. something neat to know.... (I've highlighted important parts that are interesting...)


ANGELS
(Latin angelus; Greek aggelos; from the Hebrew for "one going" or "one sent"; messenger). The word is used in Hebrew to denote indifferently either a divine or human messenger. The Latin version, distinguishes the divine or spirit-messenger from the human, rendering the original in the one case by angelus and in the other by legatus or more generally by nuntius. In a few passages the Latin version is misleading, the word angelus being used where nuntius would have better expressed the meaning, e.g. Isaiah 18:2; 33:3, 6.
It is with the spirit-messenger alone that we are here concerned. We have to discuss:

the meaning of the term in the Bible,
the offices of the angels,
the names assigned to the angels,
the distinction between good and evil spirits,
the divisions of the angelic choirs,
the question of angelic appearances, and
the development of the scriptural idea of angels.

The angels are represented throughout the Bible as a body of spiritual beings intermediate between God and men: "You have made him (man) a little less than the angels" (Psalm 8:6). They, equally with man, are created beings; "praise ye Him, all His angels: praise ye Him, all His hosts . . . for He spoke and they were made. He commanded and they were created" (Psalm 148:2, 5: Colossians 1:16, 17). That the angels were created was laid down in the Fourth Lateran Council (1215). The decree "Firmiter" against the Albigenses declared both the fact that they were created and that men were created after them. This decree was repeated by the Vatican Council, "Dei Filius". We mention it here because the words: "He that liveth for ever created all things together" (Ecclesiasticus 18:1) have been held to prove a simultaneous creation of all things; but it is generally conceded that "together" (simul) may here mean "equally", in the sense that all things were "alike" created. They are spirits; the writer of the Epistle to the Hebrews says: "Are they not all ministering spirits, sent to minister to them who shall receive the inheritance of salvation?" (Hebrews i, 14).

Attendants at God's throne

It is as messengers that they most often figure in the Bible, but, as St. Augustine, and after him St. Gregory, expresses it: angelus est nomen officii ("angel is the name of the office") and expresses neither their essential nature nor their essential function, viz.: that of attendants upon God's throne in that court of heaven of which Daniel has left us a vivid picture:

I behold till thrones were placed, and the Ancient of Days sat: His garment was white as snow, and the hair of His head like clean wool: His throne like flames of fire: the wheels of it like a burning fire. A swift stream of fire issued forth from before Him: thousands of thousands ministered to Him, and ten thousand times a hundred thousand stood before Him: the judgment sat and the books were opened. (Daniel 7:9-10; cf. also Psalm 96:7; Psalm 102:20; Isaiah 6, etc.)

This function of the angelic host is expressed by the word "assistance" (Job, i, 6: ii, 1), and our Lord refers to it as their perpetual occupation (Matthew, xviii, 10). More than once we are told of seven angels whose special function it is thus to "stand before God's throne" (Tob., xii, 15; Apoc., viii, 2-5). The same thought may be intended by "the angel of His presence" (Isaiah xiii, 9) an expression which also occurs in the pseudo-epigraphical "Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs".

God's messengers to mankind

But these glimpses of life beyond the veil are only occasional. The angels of the Bible generally appear in the role of God's messengers to mankind. They are His instruments by whom He communicates His will to men, and in Jacob's vision they are depicted as ascending and descending the ladder which stretches from earth to heaven while the Eternal Father gazes upon the wanderer below.
It was an angel who found Agar in the wilderness (Genesis); angels drew Lot out of Sodom; an angel announces to Gideon that he is to save his people; an angel foretells the birth of Samson (Judges, xiii), and the angel Gabriel instructs Daniel (Daniel, viii, 16), though he is not called an angel in either of these passages, but "the man Gabriel" (9:21). The same heavenly spirit announced the birth of St. John the Baptist and the Incarnation of the Redeemer, while tradition ascribes to him both the message to the shepherds (Luke, ii, 9), and the most glorious mission of all, that of strengthening the King of Angels in His Agony (Luke 22:43).

The spiritual nature of the angels is manifested very clearly in the account which Zacharias gives of the revelations bestowed upon him by the ministry of an angel. The prophet depicts the angel as speaking "in him". He seems to imply that he was conscious of an interior voice which was not that of God but of His messenger. The Massoretic text, the Septuagint, and the Vulgate all agree in thus describing the communications made by the angel to the prophet. It is a pity that the "Revised Version" should, in apparent defiance of the above-named texts, obscure this trait by persistently giving the rendering: "the angel that talked with me: instead of "within me" (cf. Zach., i, 9, 13, 14; ii, 3; iv, 5; v, 10).
Such appearances of angels generally last only so long as the delivery of their message requires, but frequently their mission is prolonged, and they are represented as the constituted guardians of the nations at some particular crisis, e.g. during the Exodus (Exodus xiv, 19; Baruch, vi, 6). Similarly it is the common view of the Fathers that by "the prince of the Kingdom of the Persians" (Daniel, x, 13; x, 21) we are to understand the angel to whom was entrusted the spiritual care of that kingdom, and we may perhaps see in the "man of Macedonia" who appeared to St. Paul at Troas, the guardian angel of that country (Acts. xvi, 9). The Septuagint (Deuteronomy xxxii, 8), has preserved for us a fragment of information on this head, though it is difficult to gauge its exact meaning: "When the Most High divided the nations, when He scattered the children of Adam, He established the bounds of the nations according to the number of the angels of God". How large a part the ministry of angels played, not merely in Hebrew theology, but in the religious ideas of other nations as well, appears from the expression "like to an angel of God". It is three times used of David (II Kings xiv, 17, 20; xiv, 27) and once by Achis of Geth (I Kings., xxlx, 9). It is even applied by Esther to Assuerus (Esther, xv, 16), and St. Stephen's face is said to have looked "like the face of an angel" as he stood before the Sanhedrin (Acts, vi, 15).

Personal guardians

Throughout the Bible we find it repeatedly implied that each individual soul has its tutelary angel. Thus Abraham, when sending his steward to seek a wife for Isaac, says: "He will send His angel before thee" (Genesis 24:7). The words of the ninetieth Psalm which the devil quoted to our Lord (Matt., iv, 6) are well known, and Judith accounts for her heroic deed by saying: "As the Lord liveth, His angel hath been my keeper" (xiii, 20). These passages and many like them (Gen., xvi, 6-32; Osee, xii, 4; III K., xix, 5; Acts, xii, 7; Psalms, xxxiii, 8), though they will not of themselves demonstrate the doctrine that every individual has his appointed guardian angel, receive their complement in our Saviour's words: "See that you despise not on of these little ones; for I say to you that their angels in Heaven always see the face of My Father Who is in Heaven" (Matt, xviii, 10), words which illustrate the remark of St. Augustine: "What lies hidden in the Old Testament, is made manifest in the New". Indeed, the book of Tobias seems intended to teach this truth more than any other, and St. Jerome in his commentary on the above words of our Lord says: "The dignity of a soul is so great, that each has a guardian angel from its birth." The general doctrine that the angels are our appointed guardians is considered to be a point of faith, but that each individual member of the human race has his own individual guardian angel is not of faith (de fide); the view has, however, such strong support from the Doctors of the Church that it would be rash to deny it (cf. St. Jerome, supra). Peter the Lombard (Sentences, lib. II, dist. xi) was inclined to think that one angel had charge of several individual human beings. St. Bernard's beautiful homilies (11-14) on the ninetieth Psalm breathe the spirit of the Church without however deciding the question. The Bible represents the angels not only as our guardians, but also as actually interceding for us. "The angel Raphael (Tob., xii, 12) says: "I offered thy prayer to the Lord"

As Divine Agents Governing The World

The foregoing passages, especially those relating to the angels who have charge of various districts, enable us to understand the practically unanimous view of the Fathers that it is the angels who put into execution God's law regarding the physical world. The Semitic belief in genii and in spirits which cause good or evil is well known, and traces of it are to be found in the Bible. Thus the pestilence which devastated Israel for David's sin in numbering the people is attributed to an angel whom David is said to have actually seen (II Kings xxiv, 15-17), and more explicitly, I Par., xxi, 14-18). Even the wind rustling in the tree-tops was regarded as an angel (II K., v, 23, 24; I Par., xiv, 14, 15). This is more explicitly stated with regard to the pool of Probatica (John, v, 1-4), though these is some doubt about the text; in that passage the disturbance of the water is said to be due to the periodic visits of an angel. The Semites clearly felt that all the orderly harmony of the universe, as well as interruptions of that harmony, were due to God as their originator, but were carried out by His ministers. This view is strongly marked in the "Book of Jubilees" where the heavenly host of good and evil angels is every interfering in the material universe. Maimonides (Directorium Perplexorum, iv and vi) is quoted by St. Thomas Aquinas (Summa Theol., I:1:3) as holding that the Bible frequently terms the powers of nature angels, since they manifest the omnipotence of God (cf. St. Jerome, In Mich., vi, 1, 2; P. L., iv, col. 1206).

Hierarchical organization

Though the angels who appear in the earlier works of the Old Testament are strangely impersonal and are overshadowed by the importance of the message they bring or the work they do, there are not wanting hints regarding the existence of certain ranks in the heavenly army.
After Adam's fall Paradise is guarded against our First Parents by cherubim who are clearly God's ministers, though nothing is said of their nature. Only once again do the cherubim figure in the Bible, viz., in Ezechiel's marvellous vision, where they are described at great length (Ezech., i), and are actually called cherub in Ezechiel, x. The Ark was guarded by two cherubim, but we are left to conjecture what they were like. It has been suggested with great probability that we have their counterpart in the winged bulls and lions guarding the Assyrian palaces, and also in the strange winged men with hawks' heads who are depicted on the walls of some of their buildings. The seraphim appear only in the vision of Isaias, vi, 6.
Mention has already been made of the mystic seven who stand before God, and we seem to have in them an indication of an inner cordon that surrounds the throne. The term archangel occurs only in Jude and I Thessalonians iv, 15; but Paul has furnished us with two other lists of names of the heavenly cohorts. He tells us (Ephesians 1: 21) that Christ is raised up "above all principality, and power, and virtue, and dominion"; and, writing to the Colossians (1:16), he says: "In Him were all things created in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominations, or principalities or powers." It is to be noted that he uses two of these names of the powers of darkness when (ii, 15) he talks of Christ as "despoiling the principalities and powers . . . triumphing over them in Himself". And it is not a little remarkable that only two verses later he warns his readers not to be seduced into any "religion of angels". He seems to put his seal upon a certain lawful angelology, and at the same time to warn them against indulging superstition on the subject. Josephus tells us (Be. Jud., II, viii, 7) that the Essenes had to take a vow to preserve the names of the angels.
We have already seen how (Daniel 10:12-21) various districts are allotted to various angels who are termed their princes, and the same feature reappears still more markedly in the Apocalyptic "angels of the seven churches", though it is impossible to decide what is the precise signification of the term. These seven Angels of the Churches are generally regarded as being the Bishops occupying these sees. St. Gregory Nazianzen in his address to the Bishops at Constantinople twice terms them "Angels", in the language of the Apocalypse.
The treatise "De Coelesti Hierarchia", which is ascribed to St. Denis the Areopagite, and which exercised so strong an influence upon the Scholastics, treats at great length of the hierarchies and orders of the angels. It is generally conceded that this work was not due to St. Denis, but must date some centuries later. Though the doctrine it contains regarding the choirs of angels has been received in the Church with extraordinary unanimity, no proposition touching the angelic hierarchies is binding on our faith. The following passages from Gregory the Great (Hom. 34, In Evang.) will give us a clear idea of the view of the Church's doctors on the point: We know on the authority of Scripture that there are nine orders of angels, viz., Angels, Archangels, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Dominations, Throne, Cherubim and Seraphim. That there are Angels and Archangels nearly every page of the Bible tell us, and the books of the Prophets talk of Cherubim and Seraphim. St. Paul, too, writing to the Ephesians enumerates four orders when he says: 'above all Principality, and Power, and Virtue, and Domination'; and again, writing to the Colossians he says: 'whether Thrones, or Dominations, or Principalities, or Powers'. If we now join these two lists together we have five Orders, and adding Angels and Archangels, Cherubim and Seraphim, we find nine Orders of Angels.

10 Warning Signs of Good Health

I've heard plenty of articles that list indications for sickness and unhappy signs.... I feel that the following list was refreshing....

10 Warning Signs of Good Health

1. Persistent sense of
humor.
2. Chronic positive expectations;
tendency to fram events in a
constructive light.
3. Episodic outbreaks of joyful,
happy experiences.
4. Sense of spiritual involvement.
5. Tendency to adapt well to
changing conditions.
6. Rapid response to and recovery
from stress and repeated
challenges.
7. Increased appetite for physical
activity.
8. Tendency to identify and
communicate feelings.
9. Repeated episodes
of gratitude and generosity.
10. Continuing presence of support
network.

Overall today was a success. I started the day out by going to work to see Sandy to have my makeup done. She only had ten minutes so I pretty much did my own. I stood around for a while and spoke with Donna about the makeup line while she waited for her clients. Linda M. mentioned to a client of hers that she should have her makeup done by an Esthetician. Linda suggested that I do it... I was nervous to do it at first.. but it just flowed. I loved talking about the products and applying her makeup- she really was self concious of her wrinkles eventhough she looked great! She has a beautiful face and Linda did a nice job with her haircut. She never dyes her hair and is salt and pepper.. she looks really nice. I did her makeup and I'm really happy how it came out! It looked very natural. I circled all of the items that I used on her... I invited her back to the open house next week.. she was already invited via mail, but she said she'll be back. I hope so! She knows my name now which is really wonderful- I hope Amy (my manager) will now have full confidence in my ability- I think she was listening to me while I spoke to the client... and I really hope she liked how I approached things. I really think it went well!
I was late meeting Zack and Liz and Rich... they were a bit frusterated with me- with good reason. I appologized (on a personal note- I really need to work on that! yikes!) The fair was fun- small, but fun. The flea market was upper class instead of the fun junk that they ususally have... so after we left there, Zack and I went Yard Saling which was wonerful- I bought a tape player with speakers and Zack bought some very old Victorola Records and an unabridged (Seriously it was about 8 inches thick) Dictionary from the 30's I think.. it was very, very old.
The Church event (Roast) went well. Zack, Pat and I manned the front tent that provided people with name tags so they could keep track of the numbers of those who attended.. I think it reached over 700 but that could just be rumor. Adam invited us to go bowling..
We went bowling which was okay..Adam ignored me the whole time. Whatever. We got a whole mess of email addresses to add to the list which was a success.
With that last statement having been made- As Kathy said yesterday- the frustration that I'm feeling about the 'group' idea (no one seems to be going lately) is that God's vision of this ministry is very different from what I envision it to be... something to keep in mind.

This week has been going quite well- I've been going to class and working continually... I had Monday off and just vegged... I watched the first and second parts of Back to the Future: I really miss the 80's movies like, 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids','Never Ending Story', 'Parenthood', etc. They were all so well done with plot and humor... it seems like it's all just drama and action movies that make it now, and honestly- movies like 'Airplane' and 'Pure Luck' cannot be beat- good, clean, joyful, fun. Yeah- the graphics and technology was not the best back then, but it still good viewing.
School is still going great! I did three and a half hours of makeup training with the Estheticians on Tuesday... great experience! A woman from Jan Iredale was there this time and was able to shed more light on how the makeup can be applied- and how to sell it by its really wonderful benefits. I didn't practice on anyone, but it was good experience to watch and learn. The big open house at work will be next Friday-- we sent out over 1000 invitations to our 'top' 1000 clients-- and it was kinda funny because I got one in the mail.. it just reminded me to stop spending so much money there: Yeah- we get a discount, but when I start getting mail that the clients are supposed to get, I need to take a break.
There has been a struggle at school. I really do love the people that I am in class with- our class is getting smaller and smaller as time goes on and people who have been there longer stop going to class to study and get ready for their board exam. There is one girl, however, that really is irking me. She and I have gotten along just fine up until now- I guess we still get along, but honestly I am really not able to stand her at all! I'm shocked that she's getting so far under my skin that I am actually writing about it! She is ALWAY complaining about someone or something that someone did wrong. I've met her parents when they have come in to do treatments- they are really sweet people. What's up with her? She is biting to everyone that she talks about even if they really are sweet. She turns every situation that happens to her into a big deal and makes the other party look like a jerk or just plain ignorant. I know that at some point I will either yell at her and just tell her off for being such a hypocrite (just the other day she was complaining that this other girl who goes to school with us who 'never stops whining about her problems'...). I'm loosing my patience. She gossips non-stop and puts everyone down.
I guess I need to just suck it up. She's younger and she will learn. She will have a very stressful marriage (she's engaged) and really may not live as long if she keeps thinking so negitively. AARRGGG!! I feel like pouting like a five year old.. but I honestly don't know what to do. She's not the rational type that would listen to someone who went up to her privately and explained to her their complaints.. and she's not one that seems to really be concerned about bothering anyone else-- she's just bothered by the 'world that happened to her and seems to be pouring this horrible filth on her head all the time'... I don't think I can even look at this objectively. I get too frustrated.
Well- God: you know my anger and frustration with this.. I need some help understanding her and your help just letting her silliness just roll off my back. I get too worked up about the things she says about other people, but I need to just detatch.....

Yesterday's event went pretty well. We all went to Eric and Kathy's for a potluck. David came along which was really sweet-he really put in the effort to talk with everyone. I invited Matt along (from College) as well. He really seemed to feel out of place. We all chatted, played board games (Scategories) and Mario Cart... and then watched 'Cheaper by the Dozen"... really funny movie! :) It was funny- half way through, I looked uncomfortable, so Kathy yelled behind us the the group to pass up a pillow.. Eric tossed a pillow, and (Kathy and I were in the laying down position looking up at the screen) it dumped my newly filled cup of water all over my face and hair... very funny stuff- we were all rolling :) I guess my expression was way too funny.
Work went well this week overall :) School was great yesterday: Gina gave me a foot treatment, back treatment and extra gentle facial. She was so sweet to be as careful as she was with my skin- it's starting to peel and is very sensitive. We were chatting afterward and she was telling me how she is Reiki attuned and what Reiki is all about. She mentioned how she did it to one person (a good friend of her's) and when she put her hands over her heart- she felt an intense sense of sadness and sorrow. When she and this woman spoke after the treatment, the woman, who was in the middle of a very painful divorce) could feel a warmth and comfort feeling coming from Gina through her hands. She was comforted. I really honestly don't know where God sits on this whole issue- feeling emotions and helping people change them (working with people's auras) through touch (above the body and on parts like the head and heart) really doesn't jive with anything that I've been taught. I don't know what it is that is being worked with in all honesty: what energy is Reiki addressing? What is it moving? And Catina also works with a more complex form of Reiki and can feel warm and cool spots by putting her hands above the body and can move these hot 'blockages' that represents a wall or barrier where energy is trapped- she moves these barriers and people can actually feel her touch them when she is at their feet projecting her energy to make changes in their body... she never touches them. What is this all about?

This week

This week has been great in general. Yesterday, two and a half hours were blocked off computer in the Estheticians column, so Amy (my manager) told me last week that I could join them for training- and that it was new training for the Jane Iredale products. So, we watched a video on the products and the skin types that each of the products could be used on. This product will make it VERY far in the industry- it's has a powder that has an spf 30 and that lasts all day until you take it off with cleaner... it's all minerals and is inert - which means that it is not able to harbour bacteria. Very cool. So after the video, Tracy Johnson (the owner) asked us all to pair up with someone (all the Estheticians plus me) to try out the product by creating a full look .. and she asked me personally not to be model but to actually apply to one of the Estheticians. I did a natural look on Linda C... it was the most incredible makeup application: in that the minerals actually glide over the skin- so smooth and easy to combine with other colors and blends in with skin tone by mixing with the skin's actual oil to make it look completely natural... SO AWESOME!! So Tracy and the spa manager looked at my work- everyone felt is was a great application, but Tracy did an application on one of the nail techs just to try it herself at the same time that we were playing, and it was more of a glamour look- I only choose to do the natural look as it brings out features and does not look like a vegas show-girl look. At any rate, I LOVEd the experience- we are just now learning about makeup in school! We took the test on Tuesday! It actually helped to have the experience yesterday because I was able to immediately apply my knowledge of makeup- and change my version of makeup- the color part was very helpful, but I know that I will have to/want to eyeball it myself on an actual client- base is very tricky to match as there are warmer blue skin types and pinkish green tones which defy anything in the Esthetic book- it is a chapter that is written basically as fact based on the norm.
I gave Erin a facial today-- it was her first one ever! She was surprised as to what when into a facial and the number of steps to create a facial. I must admit, I really don't like the massage that we are learning in school- but I do realize that this massage is for us to work from and create our own- a base to show us the 'blocks' that we need to follow to create length (time-wise) in the facial. I was really nice to treat someone who never had a facial before. It was a little bit more informal than I would've liked it- but I love her dearly so we chatted instead of continuing the relaxation vibe that we are taught to create... but I know that I am just practicing and need to just get all the steps down perfectly before I have real clients that I can spoil with the relaxation atmosphere. :)
Heath called last night... drunk.. at 2 am.. where the heck did he come from? I deleted his number from my phone, but when it went off last night, I picked it up thinking it was someone who needed to reach me... he wants to hang out on Sunday night... where did he go for the whole summer? I haven't talked to him since April I don't think! He sold me a car back in NOvember of 2002 and tried to sell me another car last year November.... he's beautiful, but has a child and an ex girlfriend that stresses him out. I didn't go out last night ( I thank God for the strength He gave me to just say no and drive myself home to bed.. (THANK YOU!!!) but talking to him is not a great idea as it could lead to going out... I don't want to backslide--- note to self: BE CAREFUL and keep on keeping on-- I have more responsibilities now, and to mess up will result in disaster: a loss of what has been given to me.